Okay, so what happened in my journey of understanding my body slightly better? I wouldn’t still say that I have a great grasp of what’s happening internally, but I went through a myomectomy in June, so that was because I’m nearing 42, at the end of October. So the strange thing happened in March when I discovered that, “Oh, why is my menstrual cycle weird?” So I called up my mom and said, “Did you have menopause early? Am I having some problems with my period?”
Because yeah, it just seemed like my period was not normal anymore. So I went to get it checked out in the Polyclinic, and then the nurse said, “It could be you have some pelvic problem, pelvic infection.” So it was like, “What in the world?” I mean, why would I have such a strange infection out of nowhere? So it troubled me. And after that, the Polyclinic doctor probed me with some plastic thing, an apparatus, which was plastic, so it felt very uncomfortable. And then later, she referred me to the doctor in the KK. There is this women’s hospital called KK Hospital.
So I went there for another check, and it was much more invasive this time because I was having my period. And then the doctors, there were male doctors, and then the female one, she checked me. But the male doctor was there so that he can be an understudy. So it was like, “Oh no.” Because what originally happened was my period started having a watery flow, and it was disrupted. So I was very worried that my cramps were becoming irregular, and yeah the fear of menopause crept into my head. But then again, my mom said she had it end around her mid-fifties. So I thought, “Yeah. This is super weird.
And so after the checks and everything, the doctor, said, “You have a fibroid and you have a polyp in your uterus.” Then I was like, “Oh, my God. What’s a polyp?” I mean, it just sounds so out of this world and unheard of. So I thought it was like a pimple, and indeed it was a pimple, like pus
in my uterus. So this went on for a few checks. I think I had one more check after that, and then they were going to prepare me for my myomectomy.
Oh, it was so bizarre. I remember the day that I was due to have my operation. They had me see the surgeon who was going to cut me up. So of course, I was literally so new to this whole thing. I’ve never had an operation in my whole life. I’ve never been hospitalized before. Only, probably, when I was a baby. So yeah, of my 42, 41 years of life as a human, I checked myself into the hospital, in the morning, and then handed over my wallet, and my bag, and then I went alone because I didn’t want to trouble anyone. I mean, I thought, “I think I can manage it.” So after they got me to wear those little ugly robes and then I was made to just lie on a stretcher bed. And then a nurse came in and she took a razor and she … Yeah, she shaved my pubic hair. Then I was like, “Whoa, this is weird.”
Then she got another doctor to come and insert medicine into my private area, then to check everything was okay. And of course, it was the first time I fasted. I didn’t have any water and no food for the day. So I was very miserable because I’ve always relied on water. And yeah, it’s just like having an out-of-body thing. So I was being wheeled around. And then after this thing of just settling down and then hearing other beds. So I think in that ward itself, there were probably like eight beds. So I could hear other women who were like … The nurses saying, “Okay, I’m going to shave you,” and then you can hear the razor sound. And then other women asking questions and speaking Mandarin. So it was like, “Oh okay, so this is a commonplace procedure after all. I’m not an alien. You know, I’m not the only one.” It should be an everyday affair that eight out of 100 women a day or so having their fibroids removed or something like that. I don’t know. I don’t knowthe statistics, but I believe it’s quite high, because fibroids are actually really common among women folk.
So I was there from probably 11:00 a.m. and then I stayed around until 12-ish, and then they literally said, “Okay, we’re going to move you to a bigger bed,” and then they propped me into a much bigger stretcher bed. And then I was wheeled into this huge operating theater with mega machines. So I was like, “Wow, this looks like some Teenage Mutant Ninja [inaudible 00:06:01] lab place. It’s just like this lab [inaudible 00:06:05]. Totally have no inkling what the machine is for.
So totally, I can see big screens. And then, four or five surgeons and of course one is an anesthesiologist. Sorry, I can’t really know how to pronounce that word. But that person performs the anesthesia. So before I was going to this huge computerized surgeon operating theater, there was still a waiting time, like 20 minutes, to prepare me to be wheeled into that mega operating theater.
So the nurse would come up, actually, one of the surgeons would come up and ask how am I feeling, things like that. So I felt okay. I mean, I was scared for sure, but I couldn’t let my heart leap out of my body. So it’s just very foreign being in an operating theater for the first time. And then when I was being pushed into the ward, the nurse would tell you, “Don’t open your eyes,” because when you’re being pushed, you’ll feel very giddy, and it’s true. Because when you’re looking up at the wall and they’re wheeling you fast, you feel like … It’s just like an unpleasant joyride. You know?
Okay. So as I was lying there and I was staring at the machines like, “Oh no, what are doing to me? Are they using me for some drastic experiment AI thing?” I don’t know, I was like, “Okay, just be still and let the anesthesia guy do his work.” And then lo and behold, they put this oxygen mask on my mouth. So it was like a very smelly oxygen mask that smelled like carbon monoxide or some plasticky
burn plastic smell. So wow, that was the moment when I felt I could look at time stops still. Time really became very surrealistic then, because everything became slow-mo and it could suddenly see everything became pink tinted.
So that was the moment I collapsed into unconsciousness. So that was what it was supposed to be because they have to put tubes in me, like a breathing tube. And so what happened during these three hours, I have no inkling what happened. But I woke up five hours later, I was in the operating … Yeah, I was literally in a new ward altogether. So in this ward, I think there were six patients. There were six of us women. So I could hear the lady on my right groaning in pain. When I woke up, I was also, “What the heck? Why do I feel like I’ve been stabbed in my womb?” So it felt like bad menstrual pain. I couldn’t see. But thankfully, I still have friends who are messaging me and they’re praying for me, and I really told them my fears and my concerns, my cares to them. And they say, “Hey, don’t worry, you’ll be okay.” And things like that. So they assured me a lot.
So when I woke up, I saw the big needle. Because that was to monitor, I think, my water level and my drip and everything. So I needed to go use the toilet. So only then I discovered, “Wow. Getting up was painful because it really did feel like I was stabbed
in my womb.” So I asked the nurse, “Can you just give me a bedpan so I can urinate in it because I don’t think I can get up.” So she tried and it was the hardest thing to try to just pee into these stupid bedpans. They are so uncomfortable, and nothing comes out.
So yeah, I just struggled with it for five minutes. I was like, “Nah, I’m not going to do this shit. I just need to get up, walk.” And yeah, thankfully I was able to walk to the toilet, which was just on my left. So I got up and probably walked only a hundred meters and I urinated blood. So it was very normal to urinate. And then there’s blood after your myomectomy. So yeah, that pain lasted maybe half a day, because I had morphine. And also very intense painkillers. And then, yeah. It felt painful, but after a while … the painkillers really helped to manage the pain.
So I’m really glad. But hospital food sucks. So the next day, I asked the nurse, “Hey, can I just go downstairs and buy my own coconut water or something so that I can be a bit hydrated and I can eat better?” So she was a bit worried because everybody else in the ward was like … Yeah, all the other operated women were holding their tummies, and hoping that their wounds would not aggravate further. So yeah, when I looked at myself, I was like [inaudible 00:11:46].
I can’t really see my wounds because mine is really small keyhole incisions below my belly button. So it’s around my pelvis, yes. Then I can see I have some fancy scar because out from the small three incisions … No, there is one made in my naval, my belly button, then around it. So it’s directly below. Say 10 cm below my naval, then at the side. So I have four keyhole incisions. And yeah, the ugliest thing is having those bandages because those bandages are so icky. You know, when you bathe with them. And they just cause a lot of irritation. So my skin has this mark of the plaster and it’s so ugly. Yeah.
So thankfully, I really healed up well because of my HOD, the head of the department, my colleague. So basically my boss. She’s so kind. She said, “Bernice, I can pick you up after the surgery. And I’ve been through this myself.” So she had fibroids before, which were like 15 cm. She had a 15 cm incision. So she really knew how to advise me to eat properly and bounce back to proper health after it. So lo and behold, she came and picked me up. After that day I was able to go to the convenience stores to buy my food.
And then, yeah. I mean I literally couldn’t see much of myself because after your surgery you’re not bathing. Or yeah. You’re just doing your gown and everything. So yeah, the day when she picked me up, I was so happy. Like, “Yay, I can leave on the second day after the surgery.” Just around the second day, because I was rearing to just leave. Yeah, this hospital is kind of … Nobody likes being in the hospital because it just kind of rigs of sadness and gloom. Although the nurses are really nice, they’re very attentive to me and all.
But yeah. I was so happy to be able to be discharged the next day’s evening. And then my HOD came and picked me up. So Chesed
was really nice. She picked me up and met me downstairs at the lobby and she gifted me salmon and berries. So I was like, “Wow, okay.” So, you know? She really prepared me to be on my road to recovery and that was super sweet. So I did go back to the hospital for my reviews. The incisions healed up well because I’ve been also telling my dad, “Can you make snakehead fish porridge?” So I’ve been eating a bit more healthily right after the surgery because obviously the growth in the uterus … There were three small fibroids taken out and one was really near the bladder. So my menses went on properly even after the surgery.
But it did feel a bit more painful because it’s like you removed three things that used to be there, three rocks that used to be in the uterus. So I think the system had to align to those removed objects. So it was a little bit more crampy, more painful, on the first month of my menstruation again. So I realized that yeah, fibroids do grow again because these are things that we cannot prevent, anyway. It’s about our endo. I realized from even going to the sensei, I’ve been going to the Chinese TCM, the traditional Chinese medicine doctors. They say my endocrine glands are not good. So that’s why it’s a hormonal imbalance, and hence the fibroid grew and things like that. So I have to be mindful of the things that I eat.
I try to have a more vegetable-based diet. Of course, I don’t really adhere to that. But I try my very best. For at least in a week now I have had yogurt, and I blend bananas and strawberries. So it’s like a banana strawberry or banana blueberry yogurt smoothie so that I’m healthier. And yeah, I do feel better and I try to walk more and be more mindful of women’s health because, after 40, it does feel like our bodies start to deteriorate like nobody’s business. It’s terrible. So yeah, that’s the story of my myomectomy journey.
I never expected in my life that I will have fibroids, and it’s still very alien to me. Even when my doctor, my surgeon, he handed me the photos and he was explaining to me the fibroids that are removed. They really look like the Krang’s brain from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They look like those huge flesh-colored blobs, which look really unattractive. Yeah. They look really bad. So I’m really glad they’re out of my system and I hope they don’t regrow. So I’ll try my best, if possible, not to let that happen. But if it happens, then yeah, probably I’ll do some TCM thing to clean it, because it’s possible to keep it under wraps.
During my healing time … My surgery was on June 8. Today it’s already September 26th. So it’s been three months plus. Yeah, three months plus. And recovery is good. When I went back for my review to get rid of my stitches actually because there were stitches at the naval. And yeah, it was a bit bothersome. But overall I healed very well within the first one and a half months. Yeah, so I was advised not to go for that vigorous massage, in the case where the sensei really pushes my endocrine … Yeah, my uterus or something. So the advice of the ladies who have gone through myomectomy is not to go for those really hard Tui Na as we call it. Yeah. So I’ve been going to see my sensei, but it’s more of the torture of the nerves, and everything. So yeah. So far I’m doing really good. And yeah, I asked my surgeon, “How do you open this, and then you can bring this big blob out?”
What he told me was a bit different from what my HOD told me. So my HOD told me there’s this apparatus where they go inside the opening, and then it has a little bag. So what they do is they cut up this pimple, and then it drops into the bag, and then it comes out. But for mine, they grind it. So they grind it like sausage and then they make it come out. So I think there are two ways of removing fibroids, and yeah. It’s very bizarre how they can take a huge polyp and a fibroid, which has such mass. Like a ping pong ball or slightly bigger, and literally cut it, make it to mulch, and extract it out from that literally 0.5 cm incision opening from my pelvis.
So yeah, my journey has been very … It was painful. I can’t neglect that it was painful. But I feel like I’m really glad that I went back to civil service after I left the Ministry of Education in 2014, May. Now I’m back. So I was back in 2021 October, so I was accepted in September and I was really happy. So now that this surgery has happened, it actually cost $11,000. But I didn’t have to pay a cent because it’s highly subsidized. I have this thing called Medisave and Medishield, and then I bought some insurance. So I literally didn’t have to pay a cent for it. So yeah. Thank God almighty, it’s over.
I’m glad to be highly subsidized as a civil servant again. And yeah, I’m still WhatsApping my surgeon. He’s so friendly. He’s got all the fibroid women, now the pre-fibroid women … I know there are post-fibroid women that he still contacts. And then I ask him, “Hey, can I eat this thing or can I go walking a week after?” Or things like that. So asking really normal questions like, “Is it safe to do this? Can I do that?” And then he’ll advise me. So yeah, my myomectomy journey has begun. So this was the most eventful thing that happened to me this year.
My Anatomical Journal 